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BABYLON BEE: Trump Preps By Arguing With Dementia Patients At Nursing Homes

President Donald Trump walks on the North Portico as he leaves the White House, Sunday, Oct. 25, 2020, in Washington for a campaign rally in New Hampshire. (AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta)

WEST PALM BEACH, FL — The Trump campaign announced Monday that the former president had begun preparing for his upcoming debate with Joe Biden by visiting nursing homes and arguing with dementia patients.

“George, you’re wrong about lime JELL-O. Nobody likes it,” Trump said as he argued with a 94-year-old dementia patient who claims to be constantly observed by Russian spies. “It doesn’t taste good! Everyone’s telling me all the time how much they hate it and you’re telling me they should serve it every day? On DAY ONE I will ban lime JELL-O.”

“And Mexico will pay for it!”

Elderly onlookers applauded as Trump slammed the dementia patient after suddenly picking a fight with him during dessert time.

“It’s like he’s saying what we’re all thinking,” said Constance Woodrow, a 78-year-old Alzheimer’s patient.

In another instance, Trump screamed at a WWII veteran until he started crying.

“Greatest generation? More like lamest generation,” Trump quipped, invoking laughs from orderlies. “You complain about loud music when people — good people — are trying to listen to jazz. You make me sick, to tell you the truth.”

“But thank you for your service.”

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